He Said, She Said
by yuugiri
Summary: There were a lot of advantages being a six-year-old. Too bad they would never apply to pink-haired, five-year-old girls. A nonsensical string of... things... written as a form or relaxation therapy for me. Do not take seriously. You are warned.
1. Chapter 1: Ice Cream

**This fic will compose of short – very short – chapters of a six-year-old Sai and a five-year-old Sakura. When I started writing fanfiction, I've always thought that the best way to relax is to write nonsensical things with no heavy plot and definitive purpose. This is an attempt to RELAX. I need to relax more. Lol.**

**桜**

One of the great things about being a six-year-old is that you could always get away with whatever you say, however rude it was, and still look cute in the process.

Sai learned that this only applied to people _older _than you, and not to five-year-old, pink haired girls...

"Your forehead's huge," Sai said in between licks on his chocolate ice cream.

Sakura blinked her wide emerald-green eyes at him, tightened her grip on her own ice cream cone, then stuck out her tongue at him.

Sai stared at her tongue. "Your tongue's all brown and gross and stuff."

That was because of the chocolate ice cream. Those emerald-green eyes narrowed at him. "Why are you being mean?" she asked.

Sai was confused. "I was taught to be honest…"

Sakura squashed her ice cream cone in his face. It made a satisfying _'squish!' _sound on his cheek, then a dull_ 'splat!' _when it slid down his shirt and onto the floor.

Sai blinked at her. "Hag," he muttered emotionlessly.

They stared at each other in silence for five minutes.

Sakura examined his chocolate-smeared face, then at what used to be her ice cream now nearly a brown, icky puddle on the floor by Sai's feet.

And then she began to cry.

After a while, her cries turned into outright wails.

Sai nearly backed away from her. Girls who cried were annoying. Any moment now, she was going to lie on the floor and flail her arms about in a tantrum, he just knew it.

No sooner had he thought this did Sakura drop on her butt and started to violently wave her limbs around screaming, "My… m-my _ICE CREAM!"_

Wincing and having no idea what to do, Sai slowly kneeled beside her and held out his ice cream cone silently.

Sakura instantly stopped her movement, sat up, and stared at his offering with wet, glassy eyes. Her tiny hands reached out to it, hiccupping slightly.

Sai unceremoniously smeared the ice cream – cone and all – on her really huge forehead.

This had Sakura shrieking at him, once again back at throwing her tantrum.

Sai took this opportunity to run away.

**桜**


	2. Chapter 2: Auto Door

**Auto Door**

**桜**

He found her standing at the side of the street in front of Konoha Convenience Store, sucking on the foot of her doll, her wide eyes staring at something that made her look like she was about to cry.

Sai, being six years old, would normally not care – as there really wasn't much that a six-year-old would care about – but he approached her nonetheless and stopped by her side, popping a round bubble gum into his mouth.

"What are you looking at?" he asked her, squatting by her feet and chewing slowly.

"The door won't open…" she muttered.

Sai followed her gaze and frowned. There in front of him was what adults called 'auto-doors'. Those doors that open and close by themselves and get your shoelaces stuck between them. Sai hated them. Some department stores don't even open for people who weren't taller than three feet…

"_The sensor is right here, Sai-kun. You're too small to be detected by the sensor. You have to be taller than three feet for the door to open… " _Kakashi-sensei had once told him, laughing. Sai didn't even know what a sensor was, but he trusted Kakashi-sensei and left the conversation at that.

"You're too small to be detected by the 'sensor'," Sai said to Sakura, feeling utterly superior for knowing a word adults used.

"I don't know what a '_sen'_ – hm? – '_sensor'_ is…" Sakura turned to him, her doll's foot still in her mouth. She looked like she was about to cry. "I need to buy v-v-vinegar for mo-mo-mommy…"

Sai backed away from her. He wanted to make sure he would be able to get away if she ever started crying again. "Vinegar?" he asked. This has got to be another adult word.

Sakura nodded. "She sent me… sent me to buy v-v-vinegar… But the door won't open for me…" A tear trickled down her cheek.

"Don't cry again. I don't like it when you cry because you look weird when you do," Sai said. He thought for a moment – because he felt responsible enough to solve this predicament because he could use adult words like 'sensors' and 'vinegar'. Finally thinking of something that might work, he crouched down.

Sakura looked at him. "What are you doing?"

"Kakashi-sensei said that if you're no taller than three feet, the door won't open. So if you climb on my shoulders, maybe we can make the 'sensor' think we're tall."

Sakura's face brightened instantly, and the doll foot lodged in her mouth came out, leaving a trail of spittle stretching from her mouth to the doll. "Oh! That's a good idea!" She hurried over to him and was about to climb on his shoulders when Sai straightened again, causing Sakura to slide off his back. She fell on the ground sitting on her butt.

Sakura looked at him reproachfully. "What?"

Sai frowned. "You're too fat for me to carry. I might get squished under your weight. Maybe I should climb on your shoulders instead?"

Sakura stared at him a full minute, then she began to cry.

Sai backed away from her again and was about to run when the auto-door suddenly opened and out came Kakashi-sensei, busy reading a book to even notice two children, one crying and one utterly frightened.

One moment, Sakura was crying, the next she was scrambling to her feet. Her doll in tow, she dashed through the open doors a second before it closed.

In awe that Sakura managed to do it by herself even when she was not three feet tall, made Sai watch her tiny form buy what she needed to buy. Sai prepared himself to congratulate her when she got out the convenience store.

Sakura, a plastic bag in one hand, her doll in the other, was grinning at him cheekily from the other side of the glass as she skipped towards the door.

And crashed against the glass.

Sai hurried to the door – the door that did not open for either of them – and pressed his palms against it.

Sakura, slightly dizzy for smacking her head on the glass, sat up, bewildered, looked around until her eyes found Sai. The doll's foot was back in her mouth, her eyes wide and wet, as if about to cry.

Sai backed away from the door.

Sakura began to cry.

Sai ran away.

**桜**

_**My parents are visiting from the Philippines and are staying here for two weeks at my place. I have no privacy... gah… I will be updating my other story, "Old Dogs, New Tricks", once they stop hogging the computer. **_


	3. Chapter 3: Aliens

**Aliens**

**桜**

Sai was fairly convinced she was an alien. Her hair gave it all away. There were no other pink-haired kids in school, as far as Sai was aware of. And what about that forehead? He had seen pictures of aliens before. They did not have pink hair, but their heads were unbelievably larger than their bodies.

And they were ugly.

"I think you're an alien," Sai said truthfully – because he was taught to be honest – as he pushed with his feet, making the swing move.

Sakura continued her back and forth movement on her own swing, and she looked over to him. "What's an alien?"

Sai dug his feet to stop his swing and Sakura did the same thing. Feeling once again superior over her for knowing big words she didn't know, he leaned closer to whisper. Sakura leaned along with him to hear his revelation.

"Aliens," Sai started dramatically. "are big-headed thingies that live in round house-airplane-thingies on Mars and they can suck your brains out."

Sakura's green eyes widened in awe, as if the fact that aliens could suck brains was the most interesting thing in the world. She thought for a moment before the idea hit her.

Aliens could suck brains.

She was an alien.

Therefore, she could suck brains.

A wicked grin spread across her pudgy face at her new-found power. She pushed off the swing, made her way in front of Sai, clamped her hands on his shoulders, and planted her mouth onto his.

Sai's eyes widened in panic, his face reddening. Wiggling away from her, he fell back onto the ground with a yell, his feet tangled still on the seat of the swing.

"What are you doing?" he protested in horror.

Sakura placed her hands on his ankles and grinned as she looked down at him. "I'ma suck your brainies out!"

Sai nearly fainted. "You _are _an alien!" It was too horrible to be true! He should have known better than to befriend pink-haired, big-headed alien spawns.

That was when Naruto, in his five-year-old magnificence, popped out from behind the bushes and started to sing, _"Sai and Sakura sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Sakura with a baby carriage!"_

Sakura blinked her huge eyes at Naruto.

Sai, who knew big words like 'aliens' and 'Mars', pretty well knew that K-I-S-S-I-N-G was how you spell 'kissing', immediately wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Run, Naruto-kun! She's an alien and she's gonna suck your brains out!"

Naruto, who was smart enough to know how to spell 'kissing', looked like he was also smart enough to know what an alien was, because he backed away from Sakura, frightened.

Sakura scuttled closer to Naruto. "K-I-S – hm? What's that? I'm not that good at spelling… yet…"

Naruto's face paled. "Don't come near me, _alien_!"

Sakura frowned. "If you don't tell me, I'll suck your brains out, too!" She lunged for him.

Naruto fled, screaming.

Sakura ran after him.

Sai watched in amazement as he touched his fingertips to his mouth. He didn't know aliens had such soft lips that tasted like strawberry bubblegum.

He shuddered. With the way he actually thought her to be quite yummy, he was almost certain the pink-haired alien had succeeded in sucking half of his brain.

**桜**


End file.
